By Carleen Wild
Moody County Enterprise
Every Wednesday, somewhere in and around Flandreau, eight women gather around a kitchen or dining room table.
The cards are shuffled. The stories begin. And part way through lunch is served.
And for nearly 20 years now, that’s been a gift.
At a time when conversations for many turn to healthcare, assisted living, and physical limitations, these women just might offer a quiet reminder: friendship could be one of the most powerful things we have.
Research continues to show that social connection plays a major role in healthy aging. Strong friendships have been linked to lower rates of depression, better cognitive health, reduced stress, and even longer life expectancy.
The women gathered around the table that afternoon probably don’t need a study to tell them that.
“There’s no other thing that comes on Wednesdays,” laughed 94-year-old Zona Sanderson.
“No doctor appointments. I’m busy on Wednesdays,” added Lavonne Jepsen, who happened to be celebrating her 96th birthday that day.
Around the table sit women ranging in age from 85 to 96. Most grew up in and around Flandreau. A few came from Jasper or Brookings.
And the reason they keep gathering isn’t complicated.
“Friendship,” they said.
The group meets at each other’s home each week. They settle in for several rounds of Hand and Foot, a card game they’ve been playing together for years. And at 3:00, they break for coffee and treats served by the hostess. But soon after the last bite of lunch, the games resume.
They tried explaining the rules that afternoon. It quickly became clear that a visitor understanding the game wasn’t nearly as important as understanding why they play it.
“We laugh. And we forget who’s playing. And we don’t care who wins or who loses,” the women said.
Well, mostly. They still keep score. But ask them later who won and they’re unlikely to remember.
What they do remember are the conversations — the birthdays, the laughter.
The simple routine of showing up for one another.
“To keep our scores. You add up what you have. It’s good for our mind,” said Sanderson.
“And to laugh over some stupid thing,” added Marlys Schlinz.
Many of the women spent years raising families and working on farms. Most have lost spouses. Only one still has her husband. Sanderson will celebrate 73 years of marriage later this year.
They admit that serving lunch and hosting can become more difficult with age. They wish there were more gathering spaces available for seniors — a place where groups could meet, play cards, share a meal, and simply enjoy each other’s company without someone always needing to host.
But until then, they plan to make what they have work.
Because they know something important.
You need to leave your house.
Otherwise, it’s easy, they agreed, to stay home. Easy to put off getting dressed in clothes other than everyday ones. Easy to convince yourself there’s nowhere to go.
Card day gives them a reason.
And if you’re wondering what time the card game starts, officially it’s 1 p.m.
Unofficially, that’s late.
“We’re all here before 1:00,” Sanderson laughed.
In fact, the women teased that if you arrive at one o’clock, everyone else is probably already seated and ready to play.
One gathering last year stretched until nearly 6 p.m.
“We were visiting,” they said with a laugh.
Perhaps that’s the real secret.
Not the cards.
Not the scores.
Not even the game itself.
It’s the commitment to keep showing up.
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